Pity, Party of One?

I caught myself throwing a little pity party for myself the other day...I didn't know I was planning one, much less attending, and suddenly BAM!  There I was, all pity-partying away by myself.  Funny how that happens.  

I am so grateful that I am getting well from this crazy kidney problem I'm having, and that I have so much help, that it really makes me feel guilty when I start feeling discouraged about things.  This is normal, I think.  At least I hope.

But you see -- here's where I'm coming from.  I'm a mama two very busy little boys.  I'm a wife.  I run our household.  I have many responsibilities!  And (mostly) I enjoy them.  When I became ill, I didn't realize how much I did...until I couldn't do anything.  It was quite humbling to have to ask for help.  And I had to ask for help.  I could barely walk across my house, much less wash dishes, do laundry, and most importantly, take care of my boys.

Praise God, I received the help I needed through dear friends and my amazing mother-in-law.

So why was I feeling sorry for myself?  Well, one side effect of steroids is a puffy face.  One day I couldn't figure out what was going on with my FACE.  Or rather, my eyes.  What are those things like a horizon?

Why, those are my CHEEKS.  I had become Mrs. Puffalumpacus.  (Just my own name for myself.)  I am looking down, over the horizon of my own cheeks!  And my glasses keep bumping into them. 

In addition to my puffy cheeks, my tummy started puffing out.  And my hands swelled up.  A double chin developed.  And if that wasn't bad enough...

...one day I looked in the mirror and I saw it.

THE 'STACHE.

Mustache, to be exact.  Yep, I've got facial hair.  Even some sweet sideburns to top off the deal.

Thank you, steroids.

Though maybe it's the steroids that are keeping me from losing all the hair on my head?  Hmmm...well, I'll try to get a photo of my hairy-ness.  So far nothing is turning up on camera.  Bryan says it's because it isn't really there.   But I tell you -- it's there.

Anyway, I was feeling sorry for me.  Poor me.  Can't take care of my home, my kids.  Got a puffy face, double chin.  Sportin' a 'stache and sideburns.

And then I remembered that I am ALIVE.

And that I am going to GET WELL.  Be HEALTHY again.

Eventually, I'll lose the facial hair, the puffiness.  I'll be able to take care of my home and my family again.

This is just a season.  I need to focus on each day, and see what God would have me learn during this season.  So even though it's difficult at times, we will get through it together, the Lord and me.

I waited patiently for the Lord;

And He inclined to me,

And heard my cry.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,

Out of the miry clay,

And set my feet upon a rock,

And established my steps.
He has put a new song in my mouth --

Praise to our God;

Many will see it and fear,

And will trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:1-3