How to Clean Poo out of Berber Carpet

1. Take poo-covered child and put him in the bathtub.
2. Turn on water, remove his clothing.
3. Wipe excess poo from his legs and body with baby wipes, throw them in the trash can (no clean-up as with a wash cloth).
4. Remove poo-filled and poo-covered diaper, throw in aforementioned trash can.
5. Now that water is probably warm, wash poo off of child (do NOT plug the drain). Use lots of soap.
6. Now that child is clean, rinse him and toys, turn off water and let him play happily in the clean, wet bath tub.
7. Take poo-covered toys and place in sink with soapy, hot water.
8. Find the Spot Shot in the hall closet.
9. Find a sponge to sacrifice to the poo-cleaning.
10. Dampen the sponge, blot the poo on the carpet to pick up excess. Try not to gag. Hopefully this is your own child's poo, so it won't be so bad.
11. Oh yeah -- order some pizza for dinner. Hubby is on his way home and will be hungry - he loves pizza and now you definitely don't feel like cooking anything.
12. Rinse sponge thoroughly.
13. If child begins to fuss since Mommy is no longer in sight, dry him off, PUT ON ANOTHER DIAPER, and place him in the pack-n-play. Turn on PraiseBaby DVD if necessary, to distract.
14. Take the Spot Shot and spray all poo stains thoroughly; let set for a few minutes.
15. Blot the spots with damp sponge, rinsing the sponge often.
16. Throw the sponge away.
17. Finish cleaning poo-covered toys.
18. Wash bath tub, sink, and your hands THOROUGHLY.
19. Remove fussing child from pack-n-play and dress him in PJ's.
20. Wait for hubby to get home so you can go pick up pizza for dinner.
    

Preventative Measures That Could Be Taken To Avoid Such A Mishap:

**As soon as the smell of the poo is acknowledged, check the child to see if there is leakage. Just because he is right there next to you at the coffee table does not mean that you can see everything. Seeing his upper body is NOT seeing his lower body.

**Change child immediately. Do not wait to see if he is "finished." Do not finish that row of knitting.

**Do not feed child half a banana for dessert.