It's Been Too Long

I haven't posted in over eight months, so it's difficult to know where to start!  On the home front, things are good.  My health is much, much improved.  I finished up chemotherapy on February 1st and have been taking another immuno-suppressant (Imuran) since.  That can be really tough at times, but just when it seems I'm too tired and feeling too ill from the side effects, my doctor lowers my dose again.  However, my kidneys are functioning at over 80%, so that is a huge praise!

Many, many things have changed since I last posted!  My dear mother-in-law went back to Montana on February 26th, as a birthday surprise for my father-in-law.  She stayed with us for four whole months -- and we ALL cried when she left.  She was a sweet blessing to us while I was so sick and couldn't care for my family.  However, we did settle back in to some kind of "normal life" (whatever that is) for the next few months.

Me and Judy, at the airport, saying good-bye, trying not to cry for the picture.

Then, in late May/early June, as my then-5-year-old had "graduated" from preschool and was gearing up for kindergarten, we felt the call to homeschool.

Say whaaaa.....?

I was one of those mothers who said "Never, never could I do that...I don't have the patience...I need my personal time and space...when can he start school again?"  But we were having some behavioral issues with him, and through a series of circumstances (that perhaps I'll explain in a future post) and lots of prayer, I knew that the best choice for him, at least for this year, was homeschooling.  So after I removed my big fat foot from my mouth, I began tons of research, both online and by pestering girlfriends who already homeschooled their children, and in July, we began kindergarten.  It has been a journey, to say the least.  And a big change of lifestyle for our family, and a change of heart for me.  And...it's been beautiful.  I love it.  We all love it, Ben most of all.  I'll have to post more on this later.

First day of homeschool!  They were actually excited about it, but not excited to have their photo taken.

Another huge change on the homefront...well, we changed homes.  The market was good for buying, and we were in dire need of moving closer to my husband's job.  Through changes in the road and traffic, his commute became longer and more stressful over the years (we lived about 12 miles away).  So we began looking for a new home in April, and in July we found "the" home for us.  It is only 10 minutes away from Bryan's job, it is much, much bigger than our former home, and we just love it.  We moved in early September.  Moving and settling in has been much more difficult than I'd expected.  We hadn't moved in over 10 years, and back then we'd been married for just eight months and had no children...so needless to say, we'd acquired a LOT of stuff!  But we made it and the kids especially love the house. When they are asked if they like their new house, they say, "yes, because it has STAIRS!"  They love those stairs.

Our new home

On the crafting front, I have been knitting my little heart out this year.  Baby blankets, scarves, more baby blankets...I told my girlfriends to please STOP having babies.  No more blankets!!  Lol.  I have recently started learning how to knit lace patterns, which I'm really enjoying.  But with Vonna's new CCN and LHN showcase blogs, I've joined the stitching world again.  My end-table in the living room is cluttered with various knitting and stitching projects.  My husband teased me that he couldn't afford for me to pick up any more projects, and I reassured him that actually...this was all coming from my stash!  (I was appalled at how much stash I had, both knitting and stitching-wise, when we moved!)

If you are still reading this, you deserve a cookie.  Or a cupcake.  I hope you can find one nearby.

I will try to keep posting more regularly.  I joined Vonna's new CCN and LHN blogs, so at least I'll be posting with my stitching friends, if not here.  Blessings to all.

Living Life, Valentine's and Snow

I am two weeks out from chemotherapy, and feel better every day.

I haven't posted because well...I've been busy living life!

Here are some random things that we've been doing:

Our old microwave died and we had to buy a new one.  Who knew that the packing would be such fun for two little boys?  

They enjoyed utterly destroying it with hammers, screw drivers and their own feet.

I can go to the park again with my family!  Here we are at a local park (Udall) - the boys rode their bikes while Bryan and I walked/jogged along behind.  (I mostly walked...I am much weaker than I want to be!)  And I greatly enjoyed the scenery of the Catalinas in the background.

Ben took our picture for Valentine's Day.  He forgot to aim the camera at Dad.

(I still have a double chin.  Thank you steroids.)

Then Sam took our picture for Valentine's Day. 

(I think we have budding photographers, no?)

Finally, Mom took our picture for Valentine's Day.  Thank you Mom.  

(We were at Macaroni Grill.)

Mom and the boys, also at Macaroni Grill on Valentine's Day.

At another park (Agua Caliente) on another Saturday.  It was a beautiful (though windy) day.  

I so love and appreciate being able to do things with my family again!! 

SNOW?  Did I mention that I live in TUCSON?  As in, Arizona?  I love the contradiction of a cactus being snowed on.

So my crazy Arizona-born boys wanted to play in the snow -- Arizona-style.  They had a blast!!

My desert bush - Texas Ranger (yes it needs trimming) - and our palm bush (tree?) all covered in snow.  There are supposed to be mountains in the background, but they disappeared for a while.

It snowed for about an hour!  But it was very wet, and didn't stick.  It's all gone now.  So sad.

That's all the excitement I can take for now.  

We're still cleaning up mud and sand from clothes, the floors, the bath tub after the boys' adventures in the snow.

New Blog Design!

I am so excited about this!  It's like getting my house re-decorated, only not.  I didn't have to do any work.  

Danielle Burkleo did.

She's awesome.  Very talented designer and writer -- I mean, isn't this design so very...me?  I've been reading her blog for a year now, and enjoy her musings and work.

Also, she loves Jesus.  Which is even more awesome.  

Now, to get someone to come and re-decorate my actual house.

Any takers?

Downton Musings, from Episode 4

**SPOILER ALERT -- if you didn't see Downton Abbey last night, and don't want to know what happened, then read no further!!**

I haven't yet mentioned Downton Abbey on my blog this season.  But I have wanted to.  And now that I'm feeling better and have more energy, I'm trying to write more.  It's a wonderful outlet, and cheaper than therapy.  Plus it's an opportunity to talk about the really important things in life, like what is happening in the fictional lives of fictional characters in a real TV show.

ahem.



Truly, I'm totally talking about the events of the episode now...

I had planned to write a scene-by-scene (well, not quite every scene) commentary of last night's episode of Downton Abbey; but since the writers so rudely killed off Sybil, I went into a state of shock and grief, and I couldn't keep up.

Look at her cute baby bump!   Little did we know that death was around the corner....

Oh, Sybil.  The sweetest of the three Crawley sisters.  Also the youngest...hey, is anyone else thinking about Beth March?  (Little Women)  (I was so upset at Beth's death when I first read the book - at age 11 - that I put the book down and didn't finish it until sometime in high school.)

I'm digressing.  Back to sweet (and dead) Sybil.

Now, I never was sure about her marriage to Tom Branson - not because he was from a lower social class, but because until after they were married, she never seemed like she really loved him.  Marrying him seemed more like an act of rebellion.  But I guess she did love him.  She declared it to Mary quite vehemently just before she died.

The (not-for-long) happy family...wonder what Branson will name their daughter?

Now, I am not an easy crier, especially with movies and TV.  But, I confess...I actually cried.  Tom is the one who sent me over the edge.  There's nothing like a grieving husband to bring me to tears.  And Cora, too - the scene with her at Sybil's deathbed made me cry more.  ("You'll always be my baby.."  Holy cow, any mother would tear up at this!)

I told Bryan, "Oh, they killed off Sybil!"  And he looks over from his computer and says, "Who?"  So I got no sympathy from him.

Other random thoughts from the episode:

*Bates.  I am worried about him.  His cell-mate and that crooked guard are up to something.

*Daisy.  She has got to start being nicer.  Plus, the new footman, Alfred (not Jimmy, the newest one that Thomas is after) - he really isn't that great.  So why ruin a potentially good friendship with the new scullery maid because of jealousy?  Remember, you're a war widow, Daisy.  You're better than that.

*Isobel.  All I'll say is - YOU GO GIRL!  Good for you, hiring Ethel and bringing her out of her life of prostitution.  I never liked Ethel, but she has definitely learned from her poor choices.

*Was anyone else afraid that Tom was going to chuck the baby out the window in the last scene?  Or at least jump with her?

Okay, I'm done.  That is out of my system and I feel better.  Thanks for listening.

Almost Done!

I am starting my last week of chemotherapy!  [insert happy dance]

I can't believe that it has already been three months since I was in the hospital, having all kinds of tests being run, and finally being told that I had this weird auto-immune kidney problem.  

Each week I start a new set of pills...

It always seems so daunting.

Except when I have this little guy to help me.  "Mom, can I help you take the med-cine?  Did you take it all? It'll make your kidneys better, Mom!"  

Bryan and I find it funny that the chemotherapy pills are blue.  It reminds us of The Matrix: 

Maybe that's why I've been so out of it; I'm taking TWO blue pills every morning.  Of course, I'm not sure about taking the red pill either.

I'll just be happy when I can take NO pills.  

Stitching Stuff

Over the summer, I did get some stitching done -- I didn't do any "finishes", but I have four pieces that are ready for finishing, whenever I get around to them.  (At my current rate of stitching...this will not be for a while.)  All of them are designed by Country Cottage Needleworks.

But here is what I did (pardon the wrinkles and hoop marks):

 "June Cottage"

"July Cottage"

I really enjoyed stitching these patriotic ones!  This next one was a favorite:

"Red, White, and Bloom"

I didn't change any of the thread colors for these first three pieces.  I loved the rich colors for "Red, White and Bloom"!

My husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in August, and I stitched this next one in honor of that.  Bryan affectionately calls this our "love tapestry."  :-)  This verse is engraved on the inside of his wedding band.

"My Beloved"

I used a different fabric than the one called for, but of course I didn't write it down, and I can't remember what it is.  I also changed out a couple of thread colors.  And I did a lot of frogging...I ripped out the verse three times before I was satisfied with the color of thread.  (A true labor of love!)  And I changed the green twice. But I am happy with the outcome.

For those interested, here are the color changes:

Dandelion Stem (Crescent Colours) ----> Shutter Green (Gentle Art)  [except for the words - those were stitched with Weeks Dye Works' Periwinkle]
Blue Beadbord ----> WDW Dutch Iris (we called this our "love thread" - a variegated thread of blue and purple - his favorite color, blue - and my favorite color, purple -- yah, we're nerds like this)

I've been able to do a bit of stitching in recent weeks -- finally, something "normal"!  I finished up a few pieces that I started last year, and will share those later.  Something about kidney failure and chemotherapy made it really difficult to concentrate on small, detailed things...like stitching.  At least I can read again!  That was tough for a while.  And I can be on the computer again.  Just reading the screen was hard at times.  Oh, and I'm alive!  And getting well!  So there's that.   ;)

I'll tell you about my adventures in knitting later.  I took up knitting when I couldn't stitch.  I'm becoming a regular little ol' lady at the ripe ol' age of 36.  Saaa--weeeet.  

Pity, Party of One?

I caught myself throwing a little pity party for myself the other day...I didn't know I was planning one, much less attending, and suddenly BAM!  There I was, all pity-partying away by myself.  Funny how that happens.  

I am so grateful that I am getting well from this crazy kidney problem I'm having, and that I have so much help, that it really makes me feel guilty when I start feeling discouraged about things.  This is normal, I think.  At least I hope.

But you see -- here's where I'm coming from.  I'm a mama two very busy little boys.  I'm a wife.  I run our household.  I have many responsibilities!  And (mostly) I enjoy them.  When I became ill, I didn't realize how much I did...until I couldn't do anything.  It was quite humbling to have to ask for help.  And I had to ask for help.  I could barely walk across my house, much less wash dishes, do laundry, and most importantly, take care of my boys.

Praise God, I received the help I needed through dear friends and my amazing mother-in-law.

So why was I feeling sorry for myself?  Well, one side effect of steroids is a puffy face.  One day I couldn't figure out what was going on with my FACE.  Or rather, my eyes.  What are those things like a horizon?

Why, those are my CHEEKS.  I had become Mrs. Puffalumpacus.  (Just my own name for myself.)  I am looking down, over the horizon of my own cheeks!  And my glasses keep bumping into them. 

In addition to my puffy cheeks, my tummy started puffing out.  And my hands swelled up.  A double chin developed.  And if that wasn't bad enough...

...one day I looked in the mirror and I saw it.

THE 'STACHE.

Mustache, to be exact.  Yep, I've got facial hair.  Even some sweet sideburns to top off the deal.

Thank you, steroids.

Though maybe it's the steroids that are keeping me from losing all the hair on my head?  Hmmm...well, I'll try to get a photo of my hairy-ness.  So far nothing is turning up on camera.  Bryan says it's because it isn't really there.   But I tell you -- it's there.

Anyway, I was feeling sorry for me.  Poor me.  Can't take care of my home, my kids.  Got a puffy face, double chin.  Sportin' a 'stache and sideburns.

And then I remembered that I am ALIVE.

And that I am going to GET WELL.  Be HEALTHY again.

Eventually, I'll lose the facial hair, the puffiness.  I'll be able to take care of my home and my family again.

This is just a season.  I need to focus on each day, and see what God would have me learn during this season.  So even though it's difficult at times, we will get through it together, the Lord and me.

I waited patiently for the Lord;

And He inclined to me,

And heard my cry.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,

Out of the miry clay,

And set my feet upon a rock,

And established my steps.
He has put a new song in my mouth --

Praise to our God;

Many will see it and fear,

And will trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:1-3