I know that I haven’t
posted in a while…okay, it’s been nearly four months! I've had good reason, though (this
time). Well, the first month I was just “busy
with life” – all the fall activities started up, our schedule changed, and of
course writing fell off the priority list quickly.
But then, very randomly,
I became sick. Not “cold” sick, but very
ill. It’s kind of a long story, but what
I thought was starting out as some sort of infection, then maybe pregnancy
(which it was NOT), turned out to be, of all things, kidney failure. By October,
I knew something was very wrong (I had extreme fatigue and nausea, among other
things), and it took until nearly the end of October (and a hospital stay,
including a biopsy of one of my kidneys) to get a diagnosis.
So I've been recovering
from an auto-immune kidney illness that is called ANCA Vasculitis, with a
secondary diagnosis of IgA Nephropathy (another auto-immune illness). I am not a medical person, and I have never
had any kidney problems in my life, nor has anyone in my family, so I am still
trying to make heads and tails of this thing.
So don’t ask me to try to explain it very well, because I can’t! All I know is that for no particular reason, my
body decided to attack my kidneys and shut them down. By the time I made it into the hospital, my
kidneys were only functioning at 12%. It
was crazy! Here I am, a healthy
35-year-old, with failing kidneys.
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| Me and my Ben, just before I became ill. |
But praise God! I am going to get better, and I am getting
better. The treatment for this illness
is daily oral doses of steroids (Prednisone) and chemotherapy (Cytoxan). And of course I’m taking all kinds of other
medications to help off-set the side effects of the steroids and chemo. The medications are working, though – blood work
last week showed that my kidney function is up to approximately 40%. Also, the doctor believes I will make a full
recovery, without any long-term damage to my kidneys. He is calling this an “acute kidney injury”,
versus a “chronic kidney disease.” So
that is comforting.
Life has certainly
changed in our house. I didn't realize
how much I did each day, until I couldn't do anything. My sweet
mother-in-law, Judy, came down from Montana on November 1st to stay
with us, and she is still here. She said
she’ll be with us until I am well. Judy
is my new hero. She takes care of my boys and my house with as
much care as if they are her own. I know
that she is enjoying this extended time with her grandsons, who she wouldn't normally have been able to spend so much time with. (I know God has many “hidden” blessings in
this!) But she has already been over a
month away from her own home, her husband and her life in Montana, and I know
that must be difficult at times. She
never complains. She smiles and says she
wants to be here.
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| Judy and the boys, on Mt. Lemmon |
My church family has been
amazing, too. A dear girlfriend of mine
arranged for meals for us, and for the past 5-6 weeks, we've had meals coming
in four times a week. It has been such a
blessing to not have to worry about dinner.
Plus all the prayers, cards of encouragement, and support have been humbling
and overwhelming.
I've seen God’s hand of
provision and blessing in all of this.
Oh don’t get me wrong, it kind of sucks to be sick like this – but to
see everything being taken care of without me is a blessing I can’t describe
well enough. It helps me to be able to
relax and get the rest I need, which is helping me to recover.
No, I’m not getting much
done these days. There are some days
where getting a shower and changing clothes is my big accomplishment. Other days, it’s a trip to the store, or
maybe even a dinner out. Tonight, I made
dinner for the first time in several weeks, and it felt so good! (And I got so tired.)
I had to drop out of ministries
at church and BSF for the time being, which was very difficult for me (though,
being so ill, I couldn't do them anyway).
And for these things, it mostly had to do with the chemotherapy – they don’t
want me working around children, and at church that is all that I do. What a great time to under chemotherapy –
right in the middle of cold and flu season!
Yay for suppressed immune systems!
In all of these
unexpected changes and challenges, I am so grateful for the hope of a full
recovery. I am grateful that I do not
have cancer, or a chronic kidney disease, or that I didn't need dialysis or a
transplant – I am grateful that I will LIVE!!
That was one thing that was scary to me in the beginning – not knowing
what was happening to me, and wondering how bad it really was. I can handle this temporary “sabbatical” (as
my husband jokingly called it), and I have learned to humbly accept the help that we greatly
need.
As my health improves, I
hope to post more – I do have thoughts, events, and even stitching to
share. I am unable to do any stitching
these days, but I did finish up a few things over the summer before I got
sick. Of course my boys provide endless
hours of entertainment and challenges – they are such a joy. I think ages three and five are (so far) the
most fun.
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| Their new favorite thing - riding bikes. |
I have so much to be thankful for, and so much to get well for!! And so much to praise God for.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
(Isaiah 41:10)
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